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In his new book, The All-or-Nothing Marriage, Eli Finkel gives specific strategies to make marriages better. Here are some examples.
— Quick tweaks that can be done without even involving a spouse.
View your partner’s behavior from a generous perspective: If your spouse does something that bothers you, instead of concluding that it was because of a character flaw, attribute it to a temporary, external cause. For example, s/he was late not because s/he is a jerk but because there was traffic.
Cultivate gratitude: Set aside even a few minutes a week to deliberately think about the ways a spouse has invested in the marriage.
Celebrate together: Respond enthusiastically — asking questions and being engaged — when a spouse tells an achievement.
— More serious investments of time and effort.
Make time: Set aside significant periods of time with each other.
Go beyond date night: Plan exciting activities. Make a list with your spouse of things you don’t usually do that you are both willing to try and schedule them regularly.
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