[hear her speech] (Real Audio)

June 23, 2003

Chamberlin Gives Grads 10 ‘Words of Wisdom’

(The following is the text of the address by Wendy Chamberlin, Northwestern University alumna and former U.S. Ambassador to Pakistan, to the class of 2003 at the June 20 commencement ceremony.)

Wendy Chamberlin

Thank you so very much for that generous introduction. It's an honor to share the day with the Class of 2003.

I know that it has been a long four years - struggle and hard work, moments of anxiety and joy, learning how to manage on your own. Congratulations Parents! You made it!

Oh, and congratulations to the graduates as well. To the class of 2003, let me salute you as you begin a wild adventure.

Northwestern has a long tradition of adventure. When John Evans, Orrington Lunt and Grant Goodrich founded this university in the middle of the 19th century, the Northwest Territory still was wild and largely unknown. Northwestern’s first graduates must have felt that they were living on the edge of civilization.

Today, of course, what once had been America's frontier has become America's heartland. But like Northwestern's earliest graduates, you leave here with thrilling prospects of adventure and into a world of boundless possibilities.

My own life since Northwestern has been an adventure. I found most of that excitement, some three decades, working in government -- the federal government. My generation used to say never trust anybody from the government. Or for that matter, never trust anyone over 30. So for the next 15 minutes, I'm asking you to listen to the advice of somebody from the government who is old enough to think that 30 is way young.

The question that hangs over each graduate here today is no small matter.

"What's next? What am I going to do? How do I get started in a career?

Allow me, then, to offer you ten thoughts that might help you approach those pressing questions. You could call them Wendy’s Words of Wisdom dot com.

My first word is "Relax." Take a deep breath. This may be a commencement, but here’s the good news -- you have already started. Your direction in life may not be clear to you now, but you are already launched. And you are equipped with an impressive range of tools you can put to work building your career and shaping your community, your country and the world.

You graduate today from one of America's most outstanding institutions of higher learning. Whatever your chosen field, each of you already has enormous potential. Finding your niche and making your mark will come easier and faster for some than for others. But trust me, it's always more enjoyable if you are relaxed.

Now that you have shaken that anxiety, my second word to the wise is "Explore." Ultimate success in life may require an entirely different approach than the one that got you to this big event. Each of you has a least some notion of where you want to go and what you want to be. What I am suggesting is that if you doggedly drive the notion you have now, you may miss your true calling. After all, Buddha did not find enlightenment until he sat under a tree and stopped trying so darned hard.

Be open. Who knows, something that is not yet known to you, or to any of us, might be just the thing that is waiting for you. Make friends with "time" and use it to explore.

At 21, I accepted my first job as a volunteer teacher in Vientiane, Laos. Neither the then-raging Indochina war, the distance from my family, nor the cultural challenges troubled me much. But a two-year commitment -- a full two years -- seemed like forever. I was afraid that those two years in Laos would be wasted somehow -- that I would miss my turn and not get that chance to get started.

In fact, teaching in Asia opened up new worlds and led to a lifetime career in the Foreign Service. Those two years in Laos, and the thirty years that followed with the State Department, have blown by like the wind.

Graduation now presents a unique gift, the gift of time. "Take your time" means not being afraid to use it.

My third word for you is "Passion." If it's not fun, if it doesn't spark your passion, don't do it - or at least not for long. Enthusiasm is contagious.

One day you'll be in your office, or your child's play group, and you'll realize that you love what you're doing - that it stirs your mind and heart. And that is how you will know you've found your calling.

One of my most cherished encounters was with Wall Street Journal correspondent Danny Pearl just two weeks before he was murdered by terrorists in Pakistan. Danny’s passion for journalism and his vision for shaping a better world through the power of his writing totally captured me. Our scheduled 10 minute interview rolled over an hour.

Do as Danny did: spend your energies on what truly excites you. In life, necessity may force you, and ambition may drive you, but passion carries you.

Fourth, "Partnership." Work with enthusiasm but without ego. When we lift together, the ego goes.

The days of the lone American cowboy or the solitary mad scientist are long gone. Mostly, we work in teams. Teams take us to the moon, develop the Internet, animate Disney Films, elect a candidate. It takes a lot of teamwork to stage a Waa-Mu show!

What is true on the personal level also is true on the international stage. In our increasingly interconnected world, the long-term success of even the most developed countries depends on growth in the poorest, remote countries.

It is a simple truth that the success of our war on terrorism will depend in some part on the cooperation of distant tribal villagers in the rugged mountains along the Afghan/Pakistan border.

I have found in my current job in the Agency for International Development that most peoples in the Muslim world aspire for things we Americans can easily understand, and should never take for granted -- like education, just laws, and a fair chance to get a job. Helping Muslim communities achieve these dreams offers a promising partnership for peace.

That brings me to my fifth word to the wise: R-E-S-P-E-C-T. I don't sing like Aretha Franklin, but her song rings a profound truism. Respect. People crave it. So do entire countries. And respect is basic in any successful partnership.

Respect goes beyond courtesy. Respect goes to the very heart of human dignity. Whatever his or her race or religion, country or creed, gender or generation, place of origin or sexual orientation, every human being deserves to be treated with respect.

I urge you to make this a personal mission. Make a foreign friend who is very, very different from you. Even better: learn to speak to your friend in their native language. One of my more delightful discoveries from my early travels to distant villages in Asia and Africa was that folks we regard as disadvantaged found profound value in their way of life.

We can be proud of American culture and lifestyle, but we must not believe that we have a lock on wisdom or that everyone wants, or should, be just like us. We have much to give, but much to learn from others as well.

My sixth word is "Hear." Hearing, really hearing, what the other person is saying goes well beyond listening.

The day after the terrorist strike at America’s heart on September 11, Secretary Powell sent me my first instruction as the newly arrived Ambassador to Pakistan. I was to ask President Musharraf to put his regime, and his own life, at risk by abruptly reversing longstanding Pakistani policy of support for the Taliban.

The stakes were extraordinarily high for both the United States and for Pakistan. A decision to join Operation Enduring Freedom meant Pakistan would face hostile enemies along both its western and eastern fronts simultaneously. It would, and did, provoke angry demonstrations by Pakistan’s ethnic and religious elements.

As I look back on that meeting with President Musharaff, I am convinced that an important factor in securing Pakistan as a critical ally for the U.S. was the ability on both our parts to listen intently to one another and to really understand each other’s fundamental needs.

As instructed, I asked whether Pakistan was "with us or against us". But we also discussed President Musharraf’s vision for the future. He spoke with great passion about daunting challenges: education, professional police, jobs, and foreign investment. He wanted improved diplomatic relations, a lifting of sanctions, in a word, respect. Secretary Powell and President Bush both listened and heard. Our nations could both achieve our most urgent goals by working together as partners.

As we gather here today, President Musharraf is visiting our nation’s capitol as an aggressive combatant in the war on al Qaeda. In life, as in diplomacy, hearing often gets you further than talking.

Seventh, much of what I have said so far has a thread running through it: "Trust." Trust in yourself - in the inner voice that will guide you to the thing that sparks your passion. And trust in the humanity of others and their capacity to offer much of value if you are willing to hear them and work in partnership with them.

Yes, the world is often a dangerous place. There are terrorists and traffickers and tyrants. But mostly there are men, women and children who want what everyone wants: to live in freedom and dignity, and to realize their dreams for the future.

Eighth, with Trust must also come a healthy "Distrust." Your trust need not be unthoughtful. Heed your inner voice when it tells you to question the crowd, or the practices of CEOs, or the angle of prominent journalists, or even our government. Never forget The Rock out there all covered with graffiti. Let your principles be your touchstone.

My ninth word of wisdom is "Love." Be strong enough to choose it. No, this is not a flower child telling all of you to be free spirits. Just the opposite.

Even at a time when we have more choices in our lives than ever before, the most important choices we make are seldom made with complete freedom. Every choice, even the right choice, comes with a cost. But it is far easier to live with that cost when your decision isn't a cold calculation, but a commitment of the heart.

Whatever your career choice happens to be, however strong your passion for it, your job can never be more important than the people you love.

A collision between career and family came for me last year. Following September 11, 2001, Pakistan became a dangerous place for Americans. Tens of thousands of protesters poured into the streets in support for the Taliban. For their safety we evacuated our families.

Separation was extremely difficult for many Foreign Service families, including my own. Each morning when I phoned my two teenage daughters, I heard the profound distress of my 12 year-old. She wanted and she needed her mother. As a professional, my decision to cut short my assignment as Ambassador to Pakistan after a little less than one year was difficult, but not for one moment have I regretted it personally.

I returned to Washington and was able to combine motherhood and career with my new job as Assistant Administrator of the U.S. Agency for International Development. As it turned out, the hard choice to give up my Ambassadorship wasn't a career-ender. It was a chance to contribute in a different way. A year later, career and family are thriving.

Always have the strength to choose Love. Trust me, it's worth it.

My tenth and final word of wisdom comes in the form of a challenge to you. It is this: "Serve."

An early mentor of mine in the Foreign Service once told me that "in making policy, always put people first." For me the Foreign Service has been more of a mission than a job. One such example comes to mind. As a human rights officer in Zaire in the early 1980’s when Mobutu ruled as a cruel tyrant, a freed political prisoner stripped off his shirt and showed me the deep scars from lashes on his back. "I am alive today," he told me, "because of the human rights policies of the United States."

Turn your passion into a way to help people - your family, your friends, your community, your country, the world.

If you forget everything else I have said to you today, hear me and trust me on this: You will find your greatest happiness in life when you serve someone other than yourself, something bigger than yourself.

Congratulations to you and to your families! Bring on the adventure.