Counseling and Psychological Services
Welcome to Parents
Supporting your son or daughter during the more difficult times of his or her career at Northwestern can be stressful. The college experience changes every student, and it is likely to alter your family dynamics as well. Whether this is the first or last of your children to attend college, there are bound to be times when you feel anxious, frustrated, or challenged by a situation that is taking place in your student’s life. We hope you will help your student find his or her way to us during these times and that you will come to think of us as your partner in helping your student succeed. We have gathered a variety of information for you in this section of our website, and encourage you to call us if you have questions (847)-491-2151.
Freshman Parent Letter (PDF)
So, Your Child is going off to College... An Article by Dr. Lloyd Sederer
- CAPS Services
- Confidentiality
- In an Emergency
- Mental Health Insurance Coverage
- Consultation to Families
- Making an Appointment
- Drugs and Alcohol
- Leave of Absence
- CAPS Initiatives to be Aware of
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Acknowledgements
Tips for Parents
Resources
In an Emergency
If a student is in crisis, same-day crisis appointments are available during business hours at the Evanston campus location, by appointment at the Chicago campus location, and on an emergency basis through the after-hours phone line. Please call 847-491-2151 during business hours for both campuses and 847-491-8100 after-hours.
If you think a student is out of control, violent, and/or is in a life-threatening situation, immediate intervention is needed. Examples include, but are not limited to, a student threatening suicide or homicide and a student physically harming her- or himself and/or others. Call the University Police at 911 (on campus) or 847-491-3456 in Evanston and 312-503-8314 in Chicago. Report your concern, the student’s name, and where the student can be found. If necessary, the University Police will escort the student to the nearest hospital emergency room.
If a student confides that he or she has been sexually assaulted, it is important to urge the student to go to the nearest emergency room for a medical evaluation (even in the case of acquaintance rape). Emergency room staff are specially trained to collect evidence even if a student later decides not to press charges (there is no pressure to make a decision about pressing charges in the ER). It is important to remember that several medical interventions (for example Post-Exposure HIV Prophylaxis) can only be performed within a limited time window. All other decisions about who, if anyone to notify, can be made later.
If a student wants transportation to the emergency room following a sexual assault, they can call 911 on campus, or 847-491-3456 in Evanston for Northwestern police, or 312-503-8314 in Chicago. The NU police website also has valuable practical information http://www.northwestern.edu/up/crime/sexual.html.
In the case of a family emergency or death, the Dean of Student Affairs (847-491-8430) can assist with notification, emergency transportation, as well as many other related issues.
Consultation to Families
If you would like to speak to a counselor about concerns you are having about your student, including how to be helpful to them at a difficult time, call CAPS (identify yourself as a parent or family member) and ask to speak with one of our staff.
Making an Appointment
We prefer that your son or daughter call the CAPS to schedule his or her own appointment. We have found that they know their schedule best and that they are more likely to keep their appointment if they have scheduled it. A counselor-on-call can talk with you about ways to encourage your student to schedule an appointment and how to talk to him or her about counseling (847) 491-2151.
How to schedule an appointment
Drugs and Alcohol
You have probably heard a lot about drinking and drug use on college campuses. Fortunately, most Northwestern students tend to drink in moderation or not at all, and even fewer use illegal drugs. At the same time, abuse of alcohol and other drugs causes or contributes to significant harm for a subset of students and those around them. These problems include alcohol poisoning, poor academic performance, accidents, and sexual assaults.
Even though students are young adults, parents can play an important role in helping their children make good decisions in relation to alcohol and other drugs. To help your son or daughter avoid legal, health, or academic problems, we encourage you to talk with him or her about your expectations and the risks associated with drinking and drug use. Although you may have had such conversations in the past, it is helpful to have an ongoing dialogue rather than a one-time talk.
CAPS staff provide leadership in the university efforts to reduce high-risk and illegal drinking, and the harm caused by alcohol and other drugs. We also offer services to students who may be struggling with an alcohol or other drug problem. If you are concerned about your son or daughter’s drinking or drug use, please contact us for advice.
Leave of Absence
Although many students are able to continue their studies at Northwestern while receiving counseling, in some cases students may need to request a Medical Leave of Absence when they experience medical or psychological conditions that significantly impair their ability to function successfully or safely in their role as a student. This allows for time away from the university for treatment and recovery, which can often restore a student’s functioning to a level that will enable him/her to return to the university.
A parent wanting more information can call 847-491-2151 and ask to speak to the CAPS crisis counselor on duty. Staff cannot discuss the specifics of a particular student’s situation until after the student has signed a release of information, however, we can talk generally with you about medical leaves. Parents can also check with their student’s insurance carrier to make sure health insurance coverage continues while on leave. Some insurance providers require a dean’s letter to document that a student is a “current student on leave”. A student wanting to initiate a medical leave for psychological reasons (although the reason for the leave is never entered on their transcript) should call CAPS at 847-491-2151.
CAPS Initiatives to be Aware of
- Executive Director John Dunkle is a member of the Division of Student Affairs interdepartmental team that assists students in crisis.
- Work has started on a 2 year renovation project (including construction of a LEED certified addition) for CAPS main office in Evanston (633 Emerson Street) that will expand space available for both counseling and outreach services.
- CAPS Executive Director, Dr. Dunkle is participating in research toward suicide prevention called the Big Ten Suicide Study.
- A confidential electronic charting system allows CAPS on-call staff on both campuses to access client charts through a secure server when students are in crisis.
- CAPS newly revised website allows students with questions about services to access information online.
- CAPS participation in Eating Disorders Awareness Week raised awareness on campus, in addition to collecting blue jeans for charity.
- CAPS is working with Health Education to pilot “Back on Track”, an early intervention program for students who have suffered a negative consequence because of alcohol or substance use.
- CAPS new triage system is dramatically reducing wait times for intakes. The program has been so successful, that Dr. Abakoui has presented a “how to” workshop at a national conference on our system.
- Dr. Huang was invited by the Taiwan Department of Education to develop a training program for mental health professionals working at newly created Family Life Centers to decrease relationship violence and divorce.
Acknowledgements
CAPS at Northwestern University would like to acknowledge Cornell University Gannett Health Services, Counseling and Psychological Services and Tufts University Counseling and Mental Health Service for permitting us to adapt some material from their websites.
Understanding Developmental Issues
Getting accustomed to your student's growing independence may take some adjusting to, both for you and for your student. It may be helpful for you to reflect on some of the many changes taking place for your student during this time of life. These include:
Greater Independence:
Students must learn to take care of themselves in important new ways, and they must be increasingly self-reliant while still depending on parents in many ways. Their need for support from family may alternate, seemingly unpredictably, with their need for distance.
Developing Intimacy: Typically, students develop strong ties with peers, important intimate relationships with both friends and romantic partners, and greater self awareness within relationships.Changing Family Roles:
Within the family, students need to re-negotiate important aspects of their relationships, including family roles and boundaries. This last task is often the most difficult for students and their parents to navigate, and can be challenging when dealing with issues such as control and sharing of information.
Intellectual Growth:
College is a time of life in which students experience rapid intellectual growth, and explore different ideas, opinions, and ways of thinking. The student in your life may express thoughts and feelings that you strongly disagree with, or their intellectual development may spark related interests in you.
Identity Development:
Students at this age are exploring different facets of identity, and may experiment with different styles and behaviors. This is part of developing a sense of themselves as unique individuals with value and importance.
Warning Signs of a Student in Distress
Any one of the following indicators alone does not necessarily suggest that a student is experiencing severe distress. However, several of the signs taken together may well indicate that the student needs or may be asking for help.
Academic Indicators
- Deterioration in quality of work
- Missed assignments or appointments
- Repeated absence from class or laboratory
- Continual seeking of unusual accommodations (extensions, postponed examinations)
- Essays or papers that have themes of hopelessness, social isolation, rage, or despair
- Acting withdrawn
- Inappropriate disruption or monopolization of classroomPhysical or Psychological Indicators
- Deterioration in physical appearance or personal hygiene
- Excessive fatigue or sleep difficulties
- Unusual weight gain or loss
- Exaggerated personality traits or behaviors (e.g. agitation, withdrawal, lack of apparent emotion)
- Unprovoked anger or hostility
- Irritability, constant anxiety or tearfulness
- Marked changes in concentration and motivationOther Factors to Consider
- Direct statements indicating family problems, personal losses such as death of a family member, or the break-up of a relationship
- Expressions of concern about a student by peers
- Written statements or verbalization of hopelessness, futility or lack of energy
- Your own sense, however vague that something is seriously amiss with the student
Tips for Parenting
Again, every family is unique, as is each individual within it. It follows that everyone is likely to have their own experience of this life passage, with their own particular challenges, joys, expectations, and concerns. However, there are a number of ways you may help to nurture your relationship with your college student, so that it can be as growth-promoting and satisfying for both of you as is possible. Here are some suggestions for working toward that goal:
Set reasonable expectations about academics:
Your student may have been a super-academic achiever in high school, but may not get straight-A's in college. To some extent, your own expectations continue to influence the expectations students set for themselves. Help them to accept that doing the best they can is terrific, even if they do not make the Dean's list. If they truly do need academic assistance, encourage them to seek it out.
Be a good listener:
When problems arise at school - which they inevitably will do - listen carefully to what your child says. Support them in exploring options and finding their own solutions, without taking it upon yourself to solve the problems for them. For helpful resources, please consult our Useful Links, Books and Pamphlets sections for parents.
Be emotionally supportive:
Be positive and encouraging, but don't push them to follow a particular course of action, or pressure them about majors or grades. You can be clear in expressing your own opinions, but trying to impose them on your student is likely to create unproductive conflict rather than positive changes.
Stay in touch:
It can be tricky to walk the line between maintaining connection with your child and giving them the space they need at this age. Email, letters, care packages, and phone calls from home can help fight homesickness. Express interest in your child's experiences at school, and ask them about their classes, activities, and friends. If your budget allows, a little spending money, or a gift card in a small amount from a local store, can help your student get a special meal off-campus or pick up a small specialty item to brighten up their day.
Ask them what they need from you:
When you are not sure what to do, it's okay to ask your child what they feel they need from you at that moment. They may want you to just listen, for example, while they "vent" about something, without having you respond or be "helpful"; perhaps they need sympathy, a hug, a visit, a phone call, or some distance. For further insight, read NU Student Affairs Advice for Parents.
Coping Skills
It's important to take care of yourself as you care for your son or daughter. Consider the following ways to cope with the stress that his or her situation can bring.
Allow yourself to experience your emotions. It is normal for family members to feel many confusing and conflicting emotions when child leaves home. These feelings can include sadness, guilt, relief, joy, or apprehension. Whatever you are feeling, there is little benefit in pretending these feelings are not there. A healthier approach is to talk about these feelings with family, friends, religious or spiritual support, or some other listener.
Make your own well-being a goal. During stressful times, it is important that you get enough sleep, eat healthy meals, and get adequate exercise. Spending time doing things that you like is also an important step toward your own well-being. This is the perfect time to find a new outlet.
Remember that coming to Northwestern is an important developmental step for your student. Having a student at Northwestern signals, in part, your success as a parent or guardian. It is a very big step toward adulthood and responsibility for making more independent choices. Be proud of yourself!
Mental Health Insurance Coverage
CAPS is organized to provide short term treatment in order to serve the greatest number of students. Students who need longer term treatment (or who prefer a private therapist) are referred to one of many community providers near campus. Students insured by Northwestern under AETNA should contact CAPS (847-491-2151) in order to get treatment authorized and receive referrals. More information can be obtained by visiting the AETNA Student Health website.Students not insured by Northwestern should contact their insurance company and find out what will be payed for and what their financial responsibilities will be. The questions below will help in gathering important information about mental health insurance benefits, which will assist with making informed decisions about therapy.
1. Does my plan cover mental health outpatient visits?
2. Do I have to see someone on the provider list?
3. If yes, where can I get a copy of the provider list for providers in Evanston/Chicago?
4. Is there anything I need to do to have my counseling sessions covered by insurance, if I am living out of state?
5. How does my coverage differ if I see a participating provider versus a provider "outside the network"?
6. For how many sessions can I be seen?
7. What is the percentage co-pay for sessions?
8. Do I have a deductible that I have to satisfy? If yes, how much?
9. Is there a pre-existing conditions clause for my plan? If yes, what is the length of time I have to wait prior to my insurance covering a pre-existing problem?
10. What is the effective date of the plan?
11. Do I have to fill out any paperwork or be pre-certified prior to seeing a therapist?
If you will be submitting claims:
12. What information will you need from my therapist in order for my claims to be paid?
13. Where do I send my claims?
14. Approximately how long does it take to receive a reimbursement?
When you contact therapists, ask them if they are accepting clients who are insured by your insurance plan. Also find out if they will require you to pay for sessions when you are seen, or if they will bill your insurance company
Useful Links
National Resource Center for First Year Experience and Students in Transition
PFLAG: Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays
Helpful Books
Binge: Campus Life in an Age of Disconnection and Excess (What Your College Student Won't Tell You), by Barrett Seaman, John Wiley and Sons, 2005. Former Time Magazine reporter, and trustee at his alma mater, Hamilton College, offers an eye-opening perspective on current student affairs and campus life.
Don't Tell Me What to Do, Just Send Money: The Essential Guide to the College Years, by Helen E. Johnson and Christine Schelhas-Miller, St. Martin's, 2000. (Schelhas-Miller is on the faculty at Cornell.) "One of the most difficult parts of being the parent of a college student is observing from afar as your child makes the often bumpy transition from dependence to independence. After years of being a responsible, caring, and 'in control' parent, this change can be frightening, rewarding, and nerve-racking-- sometimes all in the same week!"
Letting Go: A Parents' Guide to Understanding the College Years, by Karen Levin Coburn and Madge Lawrence Treeger, Perennial Books, 2003.
The Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure and Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected and Unhappy Kids, by Madeline Levine, Ph.D., 2006. Read the July 25, 2006 book review from The San Francisco Chronicle.
Smashed: Story of a drunken girlhood, by Karen Zailckas, Viking Penguin, 2005.
When Your Kid Goes to College: A Parent's Survival Guide, by Carol Barkin, Avon Books, 1999.
You're On Your Own (But I'm Here if You Need Me): Mentoring Your Child During the College Years, by Majorie Savage, 2003.College of the Overwhelmed: The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It, by Richard D. Kadison and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo (2004)
Helpful Pamphlets
"What Can Parents Do To Best Support A Child’s College Experience" This is a very helpful list of tips, adapted from College of the Overwhelmed: The Campus Mental Health Crisis and What To Do About It, by Richard Kadison and Theresa Foy DiGeronimo, 2004.
The Healthy Student – A Parent's Guide to Preparing Teens for the College Years The Society for Adolescent Medicine has a wonderful resource for parents and guardians whose son or daughter is about to go off to college. "The Healthy Student – A Parent's Guide to Preparing Teens for the College Years" is available in English (pdf). It covers a range of issues, including the importance of talking with your student, independence and confidentiality, health insurance and health records, prescription medications and first aid supplies.
Speak to Your Children in College is a helpful pamphlet from the New York State Office of Mental Health. "Entering college can be exciting, but it can also be stressful - many new students often feel sad or overwhelmed. That's why it's so important to also talk with your child about symptoms of depression."
